Where was I?

Ah yes, stress relief

My girlfriend works for a financial company and during the run up to the end of the tax year she putting in some ridiculous hours - 7:30 am to 9:00 pm. As a result she wasn't eating or sleeping properly. She was also unable to take any annual leave during March. At all. Getting a day off for her Grandmother's funeral was not made easy.
One evening she got home at around 8:30 pm and I mentioned that I thought I still owed her some money for rent, food, etc. She went loco. She started chucking her bank statements all over the lounge and shouting about how she would never get any peace or rest, etc. It took a while to calm her down. Then I asked her if there was anyone at her workplace with whom we could discuss stress issues. It turns out that her company's HR department consists of one person, who is a member of the board... Not ideal really.

I was going to trawl through various stress management websites and try to encapsulate what they're on about, but I just couldn't be bothered. Some of it really is just bollocks. Here's a fairly comprehensive list of stress sign from www.mentalhelp.net :

1. Psychophysiological responses--muscles tight or aching, nervous tics like in the eyelid, hands unsteady, restlessness, touching yourself repeatedly, clearing your throat, frequent colds, pain, upset stomach, sweating, skin problem or itch, stiff posture, holding things tightly, strong startle response, headaches, high blood pressure, ulcers, heart disease, colitis, hemorrhoids, rashes, diarrhea, or frequent urination. These are somatoform disorders.
2. Behavioral-emotional signs--hyperactivity, walking or talking faster, in a hurry, irritation with delays, panicky, blushing, getting tongue-tangled, avoiding people, nervous habits (strumming fingers, eating, smoking, drinking), changing habits (becoming less or more organized), poor memory, confusion, stumbling over words, inattentiveness, excessive worrying, preoccupation with a certain situation, holding a grudge, irritability, crying, obsessive thoughts, compulsive actions, outbursts of emotions, bad dreams, apathy, etc. These are anxiety reactions.
3. Tiredness and lack of energy--general lack of interest, bored, watching TV and falling asleep, humorless, sleeping a lot, insomnia, can't get going, sighing, and moving slowly. (Or, sometimes, too much energy, as mentioned above.)
4. Anxiety intrudes on our consciousness or cognition in many ways: excessive preoccupation with the threatening person or situation, a desperate striving to understand why someone behaved the way they did, repeatedly obsessing about the upsetting event, unstoppable pangs of emotion (loss, anger, jealousy, guilt, longing, etc.), excessive vigilance and startle reactions, insomnia and bad dreams, aches and pains and other unwanted sensations. Plus all the words mentioned above in the introduction that reflect the subjective feelings we have, including nervous, up tight, scared, apprehensive, etc.

Here's some stuff with a bear in it at www.teachhealth.com:

Which of these is stress?

• You receive a promotion at work.
• Your car has a flat tire.
• You go to a fun party that lasts till 2:00 a.m.
• Your dog gets sick.
• Your new bedroom set is being delivered.
• Your best friend and his wife come to stay at your house for a week.
• You get a bad case of hay fever.
• All of the above.

ALL OF THESE ARE STRESS

If you are used to thinking that stress is something that makes you worry, you have the wrong idea of stress. Stress is many different kinds of things: happy things, sad things, allergic things, physical things. Many people carry enormous stress loads and they do not even realize it!

WHAT IS STRESS?

We are all familiar with the word "stress". Stress is when you are worried about getting laid off your job, or worried about having enough money to pay your bills, or worried about your mother when the doctor says she may need an operation. In fact, to most of us, stress is synonymous with worry. If it is something that makes you worry, then it is stress.

Your body, however, has a much broader definition of stress. TO YOUR BODY, STRESS IS SYNONYMOUS WITH CHANGE. Anything that causes a change in your life causes stress. It doesn't matter if it is a "good" change, or a "bad" change, they are both stress. When you find your dream apartment and get ready to move, that is stress. If you break your leg, that is stress. Good or bad, if it is a CHANGE in your life, it is stress as far as your body is concerned.

Even IMAGINED CHANGE is stress. (Imagining changes is what we call "worrying".) If you fear that you will not have enough money to pay your rent, that is stress. If you worry that you may get fired, that is stress. If you think that you may receive a promotion at work, that is also stress (even though this would be a good change). Whether the event is good or bad, imagining changes in your life is stressful.

Anything that causes CHANGE IN YOUR DAILY ROUTINE is stressful.

Anything that causes CHANGE IN YOUR BODY HEALTH is stressful.

IMAGINED CHANGES are just as stressful as real changes.

Fuck me. There's no escape from insidious bastard stress. There's even 'good' stress.

I'm trying to work out, keep a healthy diet, and do all the other things that are supposed to keep you healthy and happy. It's bloody hard work. Quite stressful, in fact. Most people in the UK seem to use booze to manage their stress, some more successfully than others.

My work still being rather stressful (like when a rather confused and angry fellow tried to get into our office by smashing a large hole in our front door with a slab of concrete), I'm grateful for a boss who can tell when I'm getting stressed out and who will take me out of the office for a coffee, and discussion about the situation. I had a chat with her the day after dealing with my girlfriend wigging out, as I was rather distressed by it all.

I've been seeing a chiropracter about my shoulder. I still can't decide: either he's on the level and very good at what he does, but my shoulder is so knackered it won't fix anytime soon; or he's learned a few parlour tricks and is suckering me into paying off his mortgage. My mum said he was very good and I think he is actually quite professional and knows what he's doing. But when you're stuck with constant pain and the stress it causes, you just want it to go away. After nine sessions it's a lot better, but it's not fixed. Bah.

I can't afford to see him at the moment anyway, after the recent trip to Disney Florida. Anyone who knows me - Yes, Disney. In Florida. I'll tell you about it in the next blog.