Total degradation

I suspect that the stress imparted upon me by my chosen line of work is accelerating the deline of my body. I have a cold which seems to be stirring up my guts in a similar way to my previous bout of gastritis. This in itself is bad enough, but on Friday I took the day off from work and crashed out in bed for most of it. I must have slept in one of those weird illness-induced positions because when I woke up my neck and shoulders were tight to the point that my head felt like was going to pop off. This is an old neck injury caused by helping somone in a hostel move his stuff down three flights of stairs, around a-year-and-a-half ago.

I'm tempted to go and see a practitioner of alternative medicines instead of visiting yet another chinless, conveyor-belt quack. Perhaps some carefully placed needles? I may even, when I have the spare cash, pick up a Q-link.
Apparently these things contain a microchip which can be programmed with your body's health frequencies, which you then wear as a pendant to ward off Bad Vibes (mobile phone emissions, etc.) and promote low stress and healthiness in yourself. If they're good enough for use by elite military units and pro sporters, I might try one. Not cheap at £99 mind you...